Cyberpunk 2077- Phantom Liberty’s third deadliest boss is an OSHA-violating garage, making it 86.6% as dangerous as a giant killer robo-tank-

Cyberpunk 2077’s triumphant DLC, Phantom Liberty, added some fun bosses to the game—including a giant enemy (mecha) crab robot… thing. I guess it’s more of a beetle really, being a hexapod. 

The Chimera 0005-C M is a Militech monster that sweeps the area with a deadly laser, though you can snag its core and get a couple neat weapon mods for your trouble scrapping it. It’s also only 13.4% deadlier than a set of rickety catwalks in an abandoned garage somewhere. No, really.

At the start of Phantom Liberty—the mildest of spoilers to follow—players need to make their way into Dogtown. To do so, V has to traverse a garage under the district’s stadium. I say garage, what I mean is a yawning chasm full of wrecked cars and walkways made of sheet metal.

It’s a cute little platforming section, and considering my knife-boy was a Reflexes/Cool powerhouse that could wavedash with the best of ’em, I didn’t have much of a problem with it. Apparently, 2.6 million of you did, though—otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.

As revealed by CDPR on its official Twitter account (thanks, GamesRadar), the three deadliest bosses of Phantom Liberty are as follows: The aforementioned Chimera with over 3 million kills, the Militech Cerberus MK-II with over 2.9 million kills, and a set of rickety, OSHA-violating catwalks with over 2.6 million kills.

“Songbird might have regretted her choice of merc after seeing so many Vs tumble before reaching Dogtown’s walls,” reads the post, and, yeah, probably. Luckily for both V and Songbird, Cyberpunk 2077 isn’t one of those games where your deaths are canon—so my V, who absolutely didn’t fall to his death at least once, totally nailed the obstacle course first try in the game’s main timeline. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Just for some quick, back-of-the-dystopian-diner-napkin maths: 2.6 million is around 86.6 percent of 3 million. Which means that a giant, laser-firing mech that doubtless cost trillions of Eurodollars is a scant 13.4% deadlier than some catwalks in an abandoned garage. Turns out all we needed to do to take out Adam Smasher was trick him into being a contestant on Ninja Warrior.

Honestly, it’s kinda fitting for Cyberpunk 2077’s capitalist, profit-driven hellscape—the true terror of Night City isn’t the cyber psychos stalking its street, it’s the buildings that aren’t up to code.

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